So I joined this meditation group: Phoenix Shambhala Meditation Center and I went for the first time on Sunday. I have been looking for a spiritual path for some time now. I read a lot of things Buddhist and I have been putting this off for a while but all the books in the world won't substitute for actual practice on the cushion.
It was 30 minutes of sitting meditation, like 15 minutes of walking meditation and then another 15 of Tonglen and or sitting meditation...
The point of this is to strengthen my mind, to quiet it and focus on my thoughts as they arise - so the goal is to not think but I found myself only too often thinking about not thinking and then thinking about that and so on and so on and...you get the picture...
As meditation goes, it was total disaster and pretty much what I was told to expect: Monkey Mind. As I fought with uncooperative, painful joints and what seemed to be ADD smothered in hyperactivity I noticed the Zen-like beautific calm of my fellow meditators and I hated them for it. I want that, I want to notice that one stray thought that arises from my trance-like state (which I imagine to be in the form of a devastatingly simple but meaningful haiku) and experience Nirvana. I want to see universes in a flower, experience dimensions of existence not induced by animal anesthetics - I WANT SPIRITUAL PURITY DAMMIT!
I can't wait to go again, it was great.
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On a more realistic note - I just got a phone call from work - the air compressors are failing and we are losing pressure. I just know I am going to have to go back...
don’t get comfortable.
3 years ago
2 comments:
I could never see what so great this is about seeing the world in a flower... I was recently in an Russian airport where there was a one and half hour queue for the passport control. In the other equally long line was a person who could barely control his range. And as these things go, he sat two seats down from me in the plane, first thing he did once he was seated was getting out his battered paperback copy of the "Guide to Bakthi-Yoga"... So what is all this meditation good for, if you explode as soon as step in dog-poo?
thanks for the link
Heheh - it's a common expectation of people starting out on this path. it won't open up the world or even make you a better person. it's just training for your mind....to make you more aware of how it works and to possibly to control it better....now if that takes you in a positive direction then good on you...
I just want to know myself better really - the rest is just misconceptions and me facing them.
Thanks for the comment btw - you are my first.
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